Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
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