First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
