Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
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