I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
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