Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Randomize
