Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
