Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
is wine microwaveable?
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
