she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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