its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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