Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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