This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Randomize
