bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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