and you said cock pushups were impossible
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
