hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
