Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
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