She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
Randomize
