Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Randomize