Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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