ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize