there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
