Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
