I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
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