I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
