have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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