What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
