its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
