so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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