he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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