you guys were way drunker than both of me
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
