? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
Randomize
