remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
Randomize
