I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
