I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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