The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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