So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
