I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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