You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Randomize
