Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
