If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
