i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize