She is in my trunk
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Randomize
