I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Randomize
