Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize