So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
