Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
