i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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