You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
