why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
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