i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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