she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
