so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
Randomize
