i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
