Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
