another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
