id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Randomize
