I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
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