i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
