is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
