I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
did i just pee glitter
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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