No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
