i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
