She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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